The ones where you push back and forth telling stories of your other acquaintances over the days of separation from your new lives.
I was rollin' pretty good for the most part. I thought we'd outgrown each other and developed into incompatible beings to the point of no remorse for any sort of rational emotions for each other.
I was "The Shight", so to speak. I was convinced that the girl I grew to love more than anything in the world was a girl who grew-into-anew. It reminds me of that 50's song (give or take a decade) "I was walking along mindin' my business"...
"SMACK.. BAM... Ala ka zam!"
So yeah... I was writing a partially completed song about a physical tension your sure is mutually felt before coming to the realization that the ego which drove the song is actually completely off context and your vain assumptions stare you in your tilted face and pity your name. So much for that one.
The glare in her eyes you saw was only a mere reflection of the glare she put into yours.
Whether it's illusive or existent chemistry, it comes with limitations.
As the mind recycles recurring thoughts and memories, it debates giving her a four letter word you've never given to any other girl only to find she's given that word to anew, the day you decided to say it to her.
I don't know if it's the awakening that the one girl who I've ever mutually been in love with could possibly find something better, or if it's my expiring "youth" yelling in my head, trying to talk me into digging into a deeply buried pre-historic past, for the sake of chaotic adventure and more interesting stories should I ever find a "soul mate" and have grand-kids in say, 2200 ad.
Do you ever get those paused thoughts, caught in slow motion that make you go to bed for the chance at maybe reliving those memories in dream? Well.. for any of you that know my sleeping patterns, I don't either, but I do get the thoughts... Those glimpses of the most amazing things you've ever seen or felt. A spiritual dimension. If I had a time machine, I would live in that thing... Not even kidding.
Love is a conditional, circumstantial and, well... I'm ready for bed.
Wow. I'm not sure I understand all that is written here, but you are good with words.
ReplyDeleteI agree: joy is found in a "spiritual dimension." Rather than going backwards in a time machine go forward in faith to the future.
I one thing I disagree: Love is unconditional. Trust must be earned, but love is free because it (love) comes from One who has overcome all things for all people. His love is never ending.
One thing to always remember: I love you!