Quarter Life Crisis... ha

I've recently entered one of those, I'm over you-your over me states.
The ones where you push back and forth telling stories of your other acquaintances over the days of separation from your new lives.
I was rollin' pretty good for the most part. I thought we'd outgrown each other and developed into incompatible beings to the point of no remorse for any sort of rational emotions for each other.

I was "The Shight", so to speak. I was convinced that the girl I grew to love more than anything in the world was a girl who grew-into-anew. It reminds me of that 50's song (give or take a decade) "I was walking along mindin' my business"...

"SMACK.. BAM... Ala ka zam!"


So yeah... I was writing a partially completed song about a physical tension your sure is mutually felt before coming to the realization that the ego which drove the song is actually completely off context and your vain assumptions stare you in your tilted face and pity your name. So much for that one.

The glare in her eyes you saw was only a mere reflection of the glare she put into yours.
Whether it's illusive or existent chemistry, it comes with limitations.
As the mind recycles recurring thoughts and memories, it debates giving her a four letter word you've never given to any other girl only to find she's given that word to anew, the day you decided to say it to her.

I don't know if it's the awakening that the one girl who I've ever mutually been in love with could possibly find something better, or if it's my expiring "youth" yelling in my head, trying to talk me into digging into a deeply buried pre-historic past, for the sake of chaotic adventure and more interesting stories should I ever find a "soul mate" and have grand-kids in say, 2200 ad.



Do you ever get those paused thoughts, caught in slow motion that make you go to bed for the chance at maybe reliving those memories in dream? Well.. for any of you that know my sleeping patterns, I don't either, but I do get the thoughts... Those glimpses of the most amazing things you've ever seen or felt. A spiritual dimension. If I had a time machine, I would live in that thing... Not even kidding.

Love is a conditional, circumstantial and, well... I'm ready for bed.

Been a while...

So the days of blogging on Myspace are practically extinct with the whole Facebook movement and everything. And blogging on facebook or "Writing a note" as it's called is too plain and lacking of color and emotion. So I guess I'll give this Blogger thing a spin for anyone that might potentially care to listen.

I've got a few things going on right now that I could go off about. First off all, I'm in the process of recording my first official album, of sorts. The working title as of now is "Tamper the Defaults". The title came from a concept I was thinking for a song, about 2 years ago. A lot of my songwriting starts with concepts, rather than actual lyrics. "Tamper the Default" is about thinking in new ways and breaking out of the natural mentality that's so easy to fall into, and trying to gain other perspectives, without negotiating the core of what you believe.

I am going to spend the next little while working on songs and studying my recording console to try and make the process as professional as I can. With this being my first album I have about 8 years worth of material to work through and cut out. Though I'll likely be recording the vocals, guitar, piano and bass I may also have my brother in law Gregg McDermott and buddy Robert Shinkoskey lay down some guitar and bass tracks. I think it might be fun to collaborate like a lot of artists that I envy.

Aside from music I am aspiring to become a graphics/web designer. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to go into, so it's been sort of exciting. Here's an image I just made a couple of hours ago as well as another one with some of the working title song names.I've recently been on a Muse obsession. For those that aren't familiar with their music they're a band from the UK who is amazing. Anyhow, they recorded three parts from their last album with a symphony and the piano melody has really sunk into me the past few days. Some of the parts where there is no singing have given my minds ideas for a song I'm writing right now.

As much as I want to elaborate on that, I'll just say that if your reading this you need to let all three songs play. The third one in particular really stands out to my state of mind these last few days.

-Ryan

(Press play to hear music)